even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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