I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
