So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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