Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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