Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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