I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
