I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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