Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you win again, gameday.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
