I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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