I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Do vagina's smell?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize