Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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