Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
