i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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