Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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