I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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