out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
