i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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