I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
