No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
organizing the empties. That sober.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize