Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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