Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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