HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
