he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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