Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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