I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Fuck appropriateness.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
