There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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