I cockslap morals
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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