That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They have beer where we have blood.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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