you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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