no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
