after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize