I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
