well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
