She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
