hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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