I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
