he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
