Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
