? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
