I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
