It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
