i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
