In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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