im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
