i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
