Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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