I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
