just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
