Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
