I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so let's talk penis.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
