I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
