I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
