i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize