Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
