I hate all girls vehemently.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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