Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
