He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
