Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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