the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
