I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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